haiz.. what a Joke.. First Time Hear Try to Develope Feelings for u..
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[06:13:40 PM] ??[SoRa][I auto-message:
U Made Me Sad and Yet u Expect mi to Laugh and Joke with u? Are u kidding Me? Do You Noe How Hard I Tried to Open My Mouth to Answer u..
Can U Laugh Anot Given ur Situation.. It Juz Ridiculous.. and u Think Hanging Up The Phone is Fun Den Why Not I Tok Halfway With u I Hang up... If u Dun Really Love Me Dun Try to Tell Mi Concern or Make Me Laugh de Crapz.. So wat if My Whole Cousin Family Noe We are together? So what? WE are as Good As Nothin Now.. We are Nothin But Juz Frenz.. I Dun Hate u For What u Did.. I Hate u For Concerning Me only now.. Think Abt If U Had Done What u Did now to Me last time.. I wouldnt Had Been Really Heart Broken.. Tell Me What I Did to deserve this? Why EveryTime My Relationship is a Crap? I would Be Glad If u would Juz Tell My Cousin That We are not Together liao.. I Love You Yet I Hate u Too.. Its juz a Dilemma to me

[09:06:02 PM] #joanna : wahht . im trying very hard tuh try tuh devolp feelings fer yeu ... arghs .! wahhteberr
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What a Joke... Dun Love Me say Dun Love me.. Stop Making such Fake Exclaims to Make Me Feel tat I have Hope.. cuz its total bullshit.. who can try to Develope feelings 1.. is either like or dun like.. love or dun love.. If u can say tat out of ur mouth den its either love or Either u are trying to step mi down.. what had i done to deserve all this crap?

Theres a Person which u Love Now U noe I Noe.. Maybe ur Fren noes.. So im not abt to crap with u all that.. The More u Try to Do The more It Makes Me Feel sad.. Why Cant U juz Understand that What u are trying to concern now shld had been done when we are still in a R/s.. U Dun Love Me Yet u want to Concern Me so much.. So much tat a Gf can Concern about.. What are u trying to do? Play with my Feelings? I Love You and its 1-sided Now.. and yet u demand happiness from me.. haha Go get it from ur Jia Wen la.. Dun Make Me Laugh until I Nid to go IMH..

All ur Lies.. I Had known.. All are Lies.. I think ur Email Shld Be Always muz be a Bluff.. Im tired Enuff to Entertain ur Nonsense le... Things arent The Way They Were b4.. I might let u Win Last Time Cuz I Wan u to Enjoy.. Now.. Maybe I will Maybe I wont.. Im so Defeated By u..

...

Today nv went to Work.. Boss so Freaking Angry.. well So sick of that job.. dun feel like working also.. Everyday have to Rush Down to work.. Crap sia.. anyway go chinatown walk walk lor.. Den juz now want to Slack out.. den tat Chee Hong Kiwi.. always Got Girl he will leave pple out.. Maybe its down in the blood 1 bah.. chee hong kia.. I also nv been like tat when I had a GF.. haiz.. This World is juz too meaningless la.. Study work sleep eat drink bath.. Have to Entertain Jiaokias have to Get Hurt.. Have to See Faces.. Have to See Discrimination... Have to See assholes... maybe one day might as well suicide and die bah.. fark off..

and a BIG FARK OFF TO HEART BREAKERS AND HYPOCRITES AND LIFE!!
そら

Posted at 2:32 AM

Hmm.. Today Saw Her Nick.. Well I Suppose She Loved Some 1 New Bah.. haiz..
Maybe Soon I will Reach a Conclusion Myself.. so sick of Everything..

Ytd at Frenz Hse Played Mahjong.. so suay.. but also nv lose much.. den after tat drink tiger beer.. sux.. tiger getting suckier.. i cant even drink it in a single go.. .. den slept awhile when my fren drip some cold water on my face -.-.. den in the end i end up sleeping in hsi hse while they go for breakfast.. den sleep till 6pm + -.- den 10++pm den reach home.. time pass so fast.. anyway gtg mum getting on my nerves
そら

Posted at 11:03 PM

Today Her Nick Reads " I Really Love You.. I Promise You I will Wait" Even so.. Nothin as "I Might Have Hope" Pop out of My Head... !st thing i tot of.. maybe she have another guy liao... although she dun say so.. but I can feel so.. I may be wrong but.. it will be a veri veri low percentage.. Im so Bored and Alone..

Have to Study and Work.. No Work No Money... dunno wan to quit anot.. let it be bah... see how.. also might as well let mi work till die...
そら

Posted at 5:02 PM

Juz Woke Up... Hmmm.. I Decided... I will Now Enjoy My Single Hood.. But if God want to Play a Fool With Me Again I Also cant do anything.. to be like 2years ago.. to be Single...

Though If She Ever Ask. I will Return.. Though I Dunno When My Feeling Will Be able to Hold till.. as time and tides wait for no man..

But I Dun Bear Much Hope into This as Theres No Confirmation of Things and Situation..
who noes tat dunno where pop out de guy jio her.. she sure cfm jump into him...

Nowadays Love is So Horribly complicated.. This no Simplicity anymore.. either u control or theres not a big hope tat u will last long.. also always girls wouldnt resist temptation..

Theres Not Commitments and Faithfulness... this is what i think of all this Situation tat I had been thru.. Nevertheless There are Frens of mine Being blessed with good partners.. whereas me maybe I have to juz be a player suan le... since pple say i have a player face.. haha

But I cant do it.. cuz my emotion and feelings can be stronger den girls.. my feel of commitment is strong.. its juz tat im too long tempered.. lol not easily angry.

I juz Love Her..
But Shes Nv There..

S till I am a Failure
O n and on
R eality always tortures me
A lways The Weakest..

S tupidity
H as Always Followed Me
I t had Always Mislead Me

S howing Me Path I Shouldnt Take
H oping that I would Fall
U nder an Abyss not Rescuable my man
N ow and Till It ends.. I will still Love Her..
そら

Posted at 2:38 PM

So tired.. go Wang Heng's GrandMother's funeral.. stay there the Whole Night without sleeping.. lose 80 dollars there.. haiz.. becuz got some idiot keep raising the base money.. and bet so freaking big.. motherfarker...

Den B4 Meeting up with them I met her.. actually wanted to wait for her under her block till she return as she cant meet me.. who noes she actually called and say tat she will meet me.. I juz feel so Happy seeing her.. yet sad.. but i noticed several things which dun gives me the hope to give her time.. 1 is.. she dun sms me anymore.. 2 is.. not much contact.. 3 is she dun reply my sms most of the time.. lastly she didnt wear the ring after i stated tat we become frens.. so i can see that the feelings for mi in her heart is gradually fading.. if i give her time like this she will be gone soon enuff.. right now i dun even feel her feelings for mi.. its juz like im the 1 making the effort oni.. i really feel like crying like theres no tml.. yet.. who cares? i cant juz let her have her time while theres others out there wanting to jio her.. she had her phone ytd and yet im the 1 to start smsing her.. the day b4 she said she would call mi tml which is ytd.. but not even a call after she woke.. i think if ytd i nv sms her she wouldnt even sms mi.. she wouldnt even meet me if i hadnt ask so.. i duno what is she thinking abt.. i dunno whats her real feeling now.. i makes me juz so annoyed yet very sad..


Do you Believe in Horoscope?
I Do Not.. Although The Characteristic they describe is Sometime true cuz no matter how they predict i dun see my life as the same result they predicted.. funny isnt it? lol

this is mine:
[Aquarius]

The Bottom Line

A heated debate will be continued in a social setting -- romantic sparks could fly.

In Detail

Whether or not you believe in reincarnation doesn't matter. We've all had the experience of feeling like we've known someone forever, even though it's only been a few months. Or weeks. Or even moments. You, of course, have learned to pay careful attention to that sort of thing, so when you cross paths now with someone who seems familiar, you won't hesitate to mention that, and to ask them where they've been all your life. This lifetime, that is.
そら

Posted at 4:38 PM

yes its fading.. this feeling cant be wrong.. No Phone calls No Anything No NOthin.. I am too Disappointed I guess.. I believe if U have the Heart to call 1 Person No Matter Hse Phone in Use of What They can still call tat someone which is So Call Important to oneself.. I Juz Feel That her Feeling Had Faded.. Im Juz So Feelingless and Unimportant Being To Her..

No Phone Calls No Nothin.. She Thinks That We NV tok on phone or on any other form of communication we can survive.. but that is Wrong.. I Have already Been Hurt Before.. Think Action Have to Come infront of my "Logical" Thinking..

Yes Some of The Few of My Brothers and Daniel's GF noe.. It May Happen.. It May not.. But The Percentage of it not happening is goin as low as each day pass... I Myself Believe That Her Feelings is Fading.. so Melissa stop confirming everything that she will call mi and she really love me..

Yes Im impatient.. Who Cares? If By Not Being Paranoid and thinking.. I will Be Opening Myself to Be Hurt again.. only she herself noe the truth.. Who in The World will Nv Contact with their GF/BF even how Lack of Time.. Even Melissa Calls Daniel Every Night and Sms every Second.. I Hate to Say This.. But She Juz Dun Care About My Feeling..

Not to Get Hurt Not to smoke not to Cry all That.. Indeed The Crying Part I Cant do it.. Its Juz like Being Sad and Have to Force a smile out.. I Think Love is Abt Compromising not Changing... I Think I had Compromised Enuff already.. I Had Done My Part as a BF...

Think of My Feeling.. ur GF Says She Really Love u... Yet She Nv Made Effort to Communicate... Making Me The BF always Waiting at Home for The Phone Call or SMSes.. Everytime She says She will Call Back It will Nv always Happen.. That Time Wait until 12am oso no call back.. Yes Friends Are Important.. u Said u had no time.. Yet u can sleep at home.. yet u can find means of smsing juz to sms frens and not me.. Tats a Saturday.. and Ytd I tot She Might Call after her church Thingy.. Yet theres nothing.. At Night at Frenz House Celebrating.. I Waited for her call again.. cuz Melissa Say She will Call.. I Ate at 8+ no call.. I Drank until 3+am theres also no call.. My Brother tat sent Me Home was so Scare i would Juz Faint cuz I am Feverish and cold liao.. Yet I was Thinking of Her.. why isit Like tat.. Why I Always Let Myself Be Sorrowful.. I Cried on My Bed after Lying Down and Now That I Woke Indeed I Had Fever.. nt that High.. I Juz hate Fever.. and Now The Beer is still kicking into me..

but Everything i wrote here are not some babbles cuz i am Drunk.. The Things Here is What I wanted to say For Sometime already..

The Love That I want
is Always Sorrows That Comes
Yet God is Merciful
But Like To Play Jokes on Love.
そら

Posted at 11:56 AM

Its 2006.. and Im Posting 1 day later... Well Nowadays oso Lazy to Post lah... but juz cant keep to myself anymore lor... The Way She Treat Mi when Smsing its Like.. She Dun Give a Dam Whether i sms or Not.. I dunno Maybe Im juz Paranoid.. But When I am With Her I can Feel That she is Mine.. and I can Be so Happy with her.. But Recently I Started to Feel that this relationship is getting colder.. I dunno but she Doesnt Really Sms me with her Own Initiative anymore.. and I Dun Get Those Phone Calls As much as Before.. well Maybe I Think too much.. but Shes My Gf Of course I would Feel This way.. I really Hope She will Maybe see This or Maybe Noe My Feeling lor.. and Recently She Felt That I Take Her as My Ex.. and She Juz my Sub for my Ex.. Which is Not True.. But The Matter came to an End without any conclusion.. im juz so Lost.. I duno what shld i Do.. sometime I wish that It will Nv be What Expected lor.. Maybe This is My Wish for This Year Bah.. Maybe She will Noe Maybe she wont.. I also Dunno What I shld do If She were to Leave.. Maybe I will Really go Ahead with suicide lor.. haiz

I Also Feel Like Im a Changed Person..
I Feel Jealous Easily
I Think More Den Ever
そら

Posted at 3:55 PM