Once Again..


Im Back to Update... haha.. today.. overslept and didnt went to sch.. and crap they got some stupid project goin on...

Today.. Chatted with her.. haha.. she was confuse whether on how to break to her grp de pple that she goin to join another group hahah... den awhile go we chatted on msn.. chat abt her project grp again lor.. den after that we were talking abt our relationship 1 year ago.. and how i duno how to call her.. all that haha.. den when she was suggesting the content of those "phone calls" i was there simulating the conversation lor haha.. and it turns out to be kinda act cute like that lor.. was like.. kinda embarrassing if really were to call ur girl up and say all those mushy things -.- ... After that forget y tok till abt wrting a stupid list of my characteristic for her to memorise lol omg..

well... after all this conversation.. I once again Confirmed My Feelings for her.. and also those conversation is really like those I once had with her 1 year ago... but that was in Quarrel version and not such casual type.. afterall She had open up more to me with her things and thoughts maybe becuz she always confides in me.. haha... I still really feel funny abt 1 year ago.. at pasir ris beach where she used my phone to type to me abt patching with me de things haha..

Keeping it short i will end here..

Characteristic 1: Think too much abt consequences...
( er.. always reminded by my mum abt different things de bad consequences that y I dun really like to call pple up for nothin =x)
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Posted at 11:46 PM

What Should I Be Doin?

Juz Had a Sms Conversation with her.. Not a Really Good impact on Me.. kinda feel quite lost.. but then I dun really noe What shes thinking.. but then.. it juz feel like the feeling i had a year ago.. shld I Be Continuing with her or bite my teeth and pray i will stop whateva i feel?

What will Be The Future be like? How I wish I would noe.. Like having a deja vu or something.. I hate to be feeling like this.. Cant Force something into it.. Can I really go with her? what If it happens that i in the real fact i still dun understand her? Im not God or Something that can know whose thinking wat and y they are feeling like that.. Even if I would go ahead.. would she shun herself away cuz of the fear of Hurting me again??

But I heard this Somewhere.. to Love Some 1 its to trust that some 1 with the most dangerous weapon that can be used to destroy u..

I Dont Mine Getting hurt la but.. typing so much it still goes down to me not being fancied bah.. Im juz a fren that is with special ability to let her confide to only.. well thats juz shows that im really juz an escapade.. and sponge to break the pain from falling from height.. Juz so true to what i had describe myself..

I Dunno y Im getting so Pessimistic its getting worst lol.. afterall i hadnt been the "person who woos others" since 2003 and thats 3 years ago already.. maybe im still too serious into such things bah.. I get jealous easily I get Angry easily.. and I have short tolerance.. juz that i dun show it all.. afterall I tried to Be Someone so Perfect.. and complete perfectionist trying to act mature.. I Suppose -.-

Deep in My Heart I juz wan to be like a kid.. knoes nothing.. being persistent on the things I wan.. showing attitude for not getting it.. and throwing tantrums.. but for My age.. even the 1 that loves u very much wouldnt accept that.. cuz im a guy.. a support.. i cant be weak.. I have to get stronger from all serious event.. even it there are things that made me on the edge of insanity.. i have to get pass it.. even if no 1 can.. juz so tough being a guy..

Saying so much.. i think I shld blame myself for "zi zuo duo qing" making her stress bah... maybe I shld had juz gone with joanna when she asked for a patch.. and not choose to go after kevina.. this way.. i wouldnt turn my view to kevina bah.. well its also really weird cuz I juz cfm my feelings on the day she asked me out.. how weird can a human be.. feelings juz come when u least expect it.. haiz...

Juz Like The Piano Theme on This Blog.. Such a Lonely tune..

Crap spent 30 minute writing this.. gotta run..
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Posted at 3:07 AM

back to rant le.. nah.. dunno wat to rant about..
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Posted at 12:32 AM

Shag...

Today Sleep like a pig.. so tired.. slept later bcuz of some thing lingering in my mind.. been trying to figure out something that i dunno.. in the end i didnt dare to sleep in bus.. cuz I once overslept and went to yck interchange.. haha.. what incorrigible guy I am lol.. den Today in sch so bored.. partly is her bah.. haha well anything bah.. its not like Im her whoever lol.. den got mad at a stupid teacher.. He toks abt how to get gd result and give u all the veri veri detailed statistic of how each part of sch work and all that take how many % of ur marks.. but is That really impt that he nid to spend the whole day yakking abt that? and i scold him.. yet.. it didnt work.. he still continue on till end of lesson..

Haiz. See her so close to him.. Maybe They will juz be back together le bah.. It juz seems so impossible.. Everything she do she will not think of how i feel.. everything is abt that guy.. Seeing My SMS will make him upset so she oni reply when his not watching... As if Shes juz Having an Affair with me.. I will Always be Behind the scene nv on Stage.. The veri Insignificant living things ever alive.. When we were together is like that.. scare he upset cuz she and I were a pair.. being frens oso the same.. Im Juz There to be Kept as Secret.. yeah.. the secret escapade.. but i dun regret having feelings for her again.. cuz shes juz like a First Love to me.. haha cuz i haven been serious b4 with all my ex ahead of her..

Its Funny Thinking of The way I Told her all those things above this paragraph.. kinda childish i guess.. i wonder where her hearts goes to.. but bcuz of my paper-like thickness skin i didnt ask anything abt it.. but juz ranting away her hoping she would see it.. haha..

Thinking back now..Theres alot of time She Made me feel that she likes me.. like dunno some weird Chain SMS which i hate alot and end up not reading the msg and missed something she wanted to tell me at 4am of that day.. I juz slept pass like a pig.. Fate is Playing .. also When we had this conversation.. That what she said "i love my ex.. the 1 that i let go to go to another guy" which i dun think its any 1 b4 of me.. haha

Wishful Thinking.. Till now I still wonder What is She Gonna tell Me at that point of Time.. Too bad i will nv noe now.. this shows that any msg from some 1 u feel is special.. nv ignore it.. and muz read and read and read and check till u are really sure that theres no more message following after it..

K la.. i stop here le.. juz killing time ranting how I feel while waiting for MU server to be up.. If Only This Blog is a Real Best Fren which can listen to me though..

also.. to My God Sis Jennifer.. Dun too Sang xin.. I noe u took him as a Marriage de Partner le.. If the both of You Broke up becuz of that reason.. den I Think He shld think more mature abit bah..anyway nv agree ok? if u have no 1 to cry to u can find me lor wan smoke oso can..
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Posted at 11:08 PM

Secretly in Love with My Ex..

Haha.. Well as Said on the Topic.. Weird isnt it? haha.. well i suppose no 1 will be viewing this blog le.. haha.. I had told myself that i wun have any girlfriend for a very long time no matter how i feel to have some 1 beside me to care abt me and of course to care for them.. but feelings are still so hard to control.. haha besides i think she still have some 1 in mind bah.. and oso she will juz be with tat guy.. cuz after awhile she will go back to him after he persuade for some period of time.. Anyway.. I also Dont think she would had any feelings for me bah... afterall she who left me.. went for some 1 she loved more.. but Im stilll really happy that i can still be that close with her.. but.. maybe after graduate from ITE there might be a veri big gap btween her and me.. hmm.. thought abt it alot.. being with the 1 I love is Still a Bliss.. but.. i oso wonder whether i will still make her angry and dun understand her like wat that guy is doin now.. Lets Make this as a Confession Post.. haha if she saw this and had a negative ans.. well i dunno.. lets juz take step at a time.. haha.. but then again.. i had been inactive for so long.. so she might not had the tendency or habit of viewing this blog anymore.. haha

Well.. back to life.. er.. hmm.. sch started today.. but i slept at 3am.. woke up so wearily.. haha went to sch similar to the routine i had for the past 1 year.. Of course Reach tere le will not have anything to do.. well juz hope i get gd grade.. A lazy person like me getting such grades is already veri unexpectable..

Actually in Life.. oh well.. Life is Short.. Juz like my Uncle.. passed away at 48yrs old.. Leaving behind a wife and 2 kids tats below 10 yrs of age.. kinda sad..cuz i cant Help Financially and physically.. Felt so Useless When My aunt cried.. Shes always good to me.. bought what i want when ima kid even when its kinda expensive.. and i cant do abit to help them.. Anyway juz hope She would eat more and stay healthy if not the kids would suffer.. also hope the kids didnt inherit such weird genes from his dad..
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Posted at 2:45 PM

Today well.. sort of didnt sleep haha.. den played Game till Nv go see the time and was Late to Meet her..

Well after That Played badminton with her lor.. haha so log nv exercise le dun feel any strength in my body.. haha... after that she suggested goin to watch movie.. but too bad its full..

Anyway its Happy being with her.. haha.. but then again.. i think shes juz a fren to me bah.. well.. i oso dunno y i can tok so much crap with her.. well maybe im juz talkative lol..

Goin to start be abit more active in this blog hehe =DD
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Posted at 11:30 AM