Juz Had a Sms Conversation with her.. Not a Really Good impact on Me.. kinda feel quite lost.. but then I dun really noe What shes thinking.. but then.. it juz feel like the feeling i had a year ago.. shld I Be Continuing with her or bite my teeth and pray i will stop whateva i feel?
What will Be The Future be like? How I wish I would noe.. Like having a deja vu or something.. I hate to be feeling like this.. Cant Force something into it.. Can I really go with her? what If it happens that i in the real fact i still dun understand her? Im not God or Something that can know whose thinking wat and y they are feeling like that.. Even if I would go ahead.. would she shun herself away cuz of the fear of Hurting me again??
But I heard this Somewhere.. to Love Some 1 its to trust that some 1 with the most dangerous weapon that can be used to destroy u..
I Dont Mine Getting hurt la but.. typing so much it still goes down to me not being fancied bah.. Im juz a fren that is with special ability to let her confide to only.. well thats juz shows that im really juz an escapade.. and sponge to break the pain from falling from height.. Juz so true to what i had describe myself..
I Dunno y Im getting so Pessimistic its getting worst lol.. afterall i hadnt been the "person who woos others" since 2003 and thats 3 years ago already.. maybe im still too serious into such things bah.. I get jealous easily I get Angry easily.. and I have short tolerance.. juz that i dun show it all.. afterall I tried to Be Someone so Perfect.. and complete perfectionist trying to act mature.. I Suppose -.-
Deep in My Heart I juz wan to be like a kid.. knoes nothing.. being persistent on the things I wan.. showing attitude for not getting it.. and throwing tantrums.. but for My age.. even the 1 that loves u very much wouldnt accept that.. cuz im a guy.. a support.. i cant be weak.. I have to get stronger from all serious event.. even it there are things that made me on the edge of insanity.. i have to get pass it.. even if no 1 can.. juz so tough being a guy..
Saying so much.. i think I shld blame myself for "zi zuo duo qing" making her stress bah... maybe I shld had juz gone with joanna when she asked for a patch.. and not choose to go after kevina.. this way.. i wouldnt turn my view to kevina bah.. well its also really weird cuz I juz cfm my feelings on the day she asked me out.. how weird can a human be.. feelings juz come when u least expect it.. haiz...
Juz Like The Piano Theme on This Blog.. Such a Lonely tune..
Crap spent 30 minute writing this.. gotta run..
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